I’m sure you’ve had the experience.  You’re in a public place, you need help, and there are no helpers to be found.  It’s just one of life’s minor annoyances, really.  But, the situations it gives rise to can be fairly amusing.

I have been the source of amusement.  One time I was in a restaurant where it was obvious that it was not a “seat yourself” affair.  A gentleman who looked to me just like a maitre d’ was standing next to the podium surveying the room.  After a moment of being ignored, I said “Is there a long wait?”.  The gentleman turned and grinned at me.  “Ah,” I said, “I bet you don’t work here, do you?”  And, of course, he didn’t.

And, other people have been the source of my amusement.  I was once on a long business flight and took a walk around the double-aisle cabin to stretch my legs.  As I was passing another traveler, he raised his hand and said, “Excuse me, but where is the switch for the reading light?”

Part of my brain started to form a sentence explaining that while I was wearing a navy blue suit, I wasn’t employed by the airline.  The other part of my brain decided that was really too much trouble, so I just showed him the switch, asked if he needed anything else, and moved on.  I have always wondered what he thought about the airline employees’ work ethic when I reached my seat in the opposite aisle and sat down!

The all-time winner of the “does anybody work here” award, however, goes to an anonymous Walmart shopper.

A friend of mine retired early and wanted a few hours of work a week.  She became an employee of a cosmetic company.  Her job is to reset the displays of cosmetics in drug stores and big box stores like KMart and Walmart.  It works out just fine – she has the additional income she wants, and just works a few hours a month.

Beyond the tedium of the job, there is one major problem:  people always assume that she works for the store she’s in.  She even wears what looks like a lab coat with the logo of the cosmetic company on it, but that doesn’t seem to deter people from asking her all types of questions, none of which she knows the answer to.

One day a woman stopped to ask her where something was located in the Walmart store in which they both stood.  My friend patiently explained that she would love to help, but said ”I don’t work here.”  Guess that was the last straw as far as the shopper was concerned.  She fixed my friend with a withering glare and growled:

“That’s just GREAT!!  No one who works here is working, and the only person who is actually working doesn’t work here!!!”