If you’re old enough, you’ll get a chuckle out of the title of this post.  If you don’t get it, ask someone over the age of 35, or maybe 40.  Anyway. . .

A little while ago, I was forced to start using IE8.  My IE7, for no reason at all, stopped working.  And, I need IE, so I called in an expert.  Neither of us could figure out why IE7 stopped working, and the only solution we could find was to install IE8.

First, a few words about Microsoft, as long as I’m complaining.  I knew I was in trouble when I saw the little icon that looks like a ripped piece of paper at the top of the browser window.  Know what it’s for?

Evidently, it’s to make IE8 work more like IE7.  What a concept.  Introduce a new piece of software, then give people a way to make believe they’re still using the old one.  Good heavens.

The official explanation of the icon is this:  “Compatibility View:  websites designed for older browsers will often look better, and problems such as out-of-place menus, images, or text will be corrected.”

Great.

Anyway, I started out complaining about Google, and this is all related, really.  In IE7, you could use the Preferences link on the Google screen, and choose “Do not provide query suggestions in the search box”.  And, instead of all of Google’s suggestions, you could select from a drop down of your own recent searches.

In IE8, the Preferences link still take you to a page that has that option, but it works a little differently now.  In IE8, if you turn off Google’s suggestions, you don’t get ANY drop down of search terms to choose from.

I know Google is just trying to help, but I’ve about had it.  I don’t want to have to type past all of Google’s suggestions to get to the search I do a lot.  I want my browser to work the way I want to work.

Google, if you’re listening, how about introducing a version of Google for us independent cusses??

A friend of mine was extremely frustrated the other day.  His company had been late delivering a critical order to one of his customers.  He got an earful from the customer, complete with threats to take their business elsewhere, etc.

He’s a very organized person, and finds it excruciatingly painful when something out of his control gets him in hot water.  And, he was further frustrated by management’s reaction to the problem.  They didn’t really seem to be too upset about it.

Yes, there was an explanation for why the shipment was late, but my friend thought that more could have been done to work around the problems and get the shipment to the customer on time.

So, I shared with him the best approach I’ve ever heard to eliminating delivery problems.  If you use this approach, you’ll always be sure that things are working out just fine.

Another friend of mine used to work as a manufacturer’s rep, selling high-end eyeglass frames to doctors and optometrists.  The company she was representing starting having significant problems filling orders.  Frames were backordered, out of production, or just plain lost in the warehouse from what she could tell.

One day she and her boss had a heated telephone discussion on the subject.  Her boss was trying to assure her that over time, everything would work out.  She was trying to explain to the boss how angry customers were getting with the shoddy customer service.

Finally, in exasperation, her boss fairly screamed into the telephone: “Well, you don’t really expect us to ship everything you sell, do you???!!!?!??”

So, I figure that’s a great way to eliminate delivery problems.  Just pick a percentage of orders you want to actually deliver, or a specific number of customers to whom you will deliver, and all your problems go away.

You’re always doing well if you just plan to deliver only a portion of the orders your company gets!

I was at my sister and brother-in-law’s a week or so ago and asked my brother-in-law if he thought the air in my tires was low.  He pulled out a tire gauge (I couldn’t find mine) and it turned out the tires were really low.  Which got him to asking a couple questions.  The exchange went something like this:

•    “When was the last time you had your tires rotated?”
•    “Uh…”
•    “When was the last time you changed the oil?”
•    “Well, uh…”

Yes, I haven’t been paying much attention to the ole car lately, so I decided to remedy the situation.  I called the local lube shop.  I got a price for changing the oil.  Then, I asked if they rotated tires.  The man on the phone assured me they did.  Then, I confirmed that they’d also balance the tires.  The man on the phone said “Well, uh…”

OK, even I know you can’t just rotate the tires unless you enjoy riding on roller coasters.  So, I asked him where he would go if he wanted the tires rotated and balanced.

Based on his recommendation, I called the next shop.  Yes, I discovered that they rotate and balance tires.  But, they don’t change oil.  However, the shop right next door does.

Great, I thought.  I can make one stop and get both things done.  And, since I had a ride to get some other things done, I wouldn’t even have to wait in the shop.

Everything worked out just fine until the next time I left the house.  There was a puddle under the car that turned out to be oil.  So, I stopped back into the shop.  They checked everything out and all was well.  They assured me it was just some oil that was dripping from the undercarriage of the car.

However, it’s a week later, and the car is still dripping.  I’ve checked the oil level, though, and it still shows full.  So, I guess it is just spilled oil.  I’ll take it back one more time, but I bet I’ll end up going to the car wash.

I’m befuddled.  How badly can you mess up an oil change?  And, seriously, how much oil can you spill while you’re doing it?!?!?

I may have mentioned before how amazed I am with the wonder of the human brain.  And, I’m still amazed - with mine in particular.

There are times when I can’t remember what I had for breakfast.  And, there are times when I amaze even myself with the razor-sharp operation of my brain.

But, the most amazing brain function has to be when your brain gets confused at the speed of light.  Let me explain.

My parents passed away a number of years ago, and they are buried side by side in a cemetery in Michigan.  The other day, I was talking to my sister (I can’t remember what about), and she said: “I was writing a check to raise Mom”.

In about a nanosecond, the following thoughts raced through my brain:

• My sister is exhuming our Mother’s coffin?!?!?
• Why would that be necessary?
• Why is she mentioning this so casually as if it’s no big deal?!?!?
• Did she tell me about this and I forgot?
• How could I forget about something like exhuming Mom??

All that activity resulted in my practically shouting, “YOU’RE WRITING A CHECK TO RAISE MOM?”

That, of course, started a completely confusing exchange between the two of us, as we both struggled to understand what in the world the other one was talking about.

Turns out that my sister’s husband is named Ray.  Of course, I know that.  And, my sister was writing a check to Ray’s mom.

But boy, what a brain exercise that was!!

The move is just about completed.  The boxes are empty (well except for a couple).  Now it’s down to the finishing touches.  Of course, the office got set up right away, but the house still needs pictures on the walls and that sort of thing.

I went hiking for the first time in this area last Saturday, and it was great.  Dahlonega is in the foothills of the Georgia mountains.  The scenery is outstanding, and there are waterfalls all over the place.  There are few things, for me anyway, that are as relaxing as sitting on a rock listening to the roar of rushing water.

The town is small, but not backwoods.  There are lots of transplants here that came for the small town atmosphere close to the big city.  And, the tourist trade keeps the town busy with festivals, art shows, and so on.

However, I had to drive quite a ways to a grocery store yesterday, and it was rather annoying.  Evidently, people in north Georgia don’t like bread.  The local groceries don’t have real bakeries.  So, the choice becomes some variation of “wonder bread”.  White wonder bread, brown wonder bread, wonder bread with raisins… you get the idea.

So, mumbling under my breath, I headed out for the trip to a big Kroger to see if they knew anything about making bread. 

My state of mind was quickly transformed as I headed towards town.  For miles along the main road that runs through Dahlonega, the celebration for Memorial Day has started.

As I drove toward town, I started passing white crosses with American flags waving above each one.  On each cross was the name of a veteran who gave his life to protect the rest of us.  On the vertical part of the cross, the conflict each man was involved in was also printed - I spotted World War I, World War II, Korea and Vietnam.

The experience gave me a bit of a glow, and pointed out just how insigificant the search for a good loaf of bread really was.

I think I’m going to like living in a small town.