Newspapers are supposed to be well-researched, well-written and well proofed.  So, it really makes me smile when I see the corrections the papers are forced to publish.  Here are a few that might make you chuckle.

Apology: I originally wrote, “Woodrow Wilson’s wife grazed sheep on the front lawn of the White House.”   I’m sorry that typesetting inadvertently left out the word “sheep.”   [So, you're calling Woodrow Wilson's wife a cow, huh?]

We apologize to our readers who received, through an unfortunate computer error, the chest measurements of members of the Female Wrestlers Association instead of the figures on the sales of soybeans to foreign countries.   [OK, give me a break.   This one is way past a computer error!  Even computers aren't that dumb!]

Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler’s Mother, not Hitler’s, that was exhibited. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how this error occurred.  [Evidently, someone on the paper has a problem pronouncing Ws.  Probably the opposite of the problem experienced by Elmer Fudd]

In one edition of today’s Food Section, an inaccurate number of jalapeno peppers was given for Jeanette Crowley’s Southwestern chicken salad recipe. The recipe should call for two, not 21, jalapeno peppers.  [Unfortunately, there are still a lot of folks in town whose mouths are permanently scarred.]

The marriage of Miss Freda vanAmburg and Willie Branton, which was announced in this paper a few weeks ago, was a mistake which we wish to correct.  [Do you think it was Freda and Willie who put in that correction?]

Our newspaper carried the notice last week that Mr. Oscar Hoffnagle is a defective on the police force. This was a typographical error. Mr. Hoffnagle is, of course, a detective on the police farce.   [Isn't it written somewhere that two wrongs don't make a right?]

From a California bar association’s newsletter: Correction — the following typo appeared in our last bulletin: “Lunch will be gin at 12:15 p.m.” Please orrect to read “12 noon.”   [Some days, a correction just isn't worth the effort, evidently.  Maybe more gin would help.]

Corrections & Clarifications:  A recipe for Italian Breaded Chicken Parmesan on Page 2G of Wednesday’s Food section suggested beating the chicken with a small mallard.  That, of course, is incorrect.  A mallet would be a better choice.  [I agree.  It's never a good idea to use one bird to flatten another.]

Have a great day!